I wish she gives you the happiness that she deserves and that she makes you a better man. I wasn't the one for you, but the ecstatic feeling that came over me every time I saw you made my entire day. Love is a wonderful feeling, even when you have to endure heartbreak. I don't regret meeting you and falling in love with you.
Is it the one with the video editing skills? Who posts pictures up of herself everyday while you're away to entice you to come back into her bed? She's got beautiful grey eyes, but she seems a bit too wild for your taste.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I want to forget
I still love you even though I'm starting to forget you. I wish I can forget you faster.
They say that oxytocin (the love chemical) stays in a man's body for around two days, where it'll say in a woman's body for 14 days. Makes me wonder if it'll take 7 times longer for me to get over him as it did for him. I think it took him about two weeks.
You're such an idiot.
They say that oxytocin (the love chemical) stays in a man's body for around two days, where it'll say in a woman's body for 14 days. Makes me wonder if it'll take 7 times longer for me to get over him as it did for him. I think it took him about two weeks.
You're such an idiot.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
From AskMen - the most iconic player
I read this article on AskMen and realized that my former paramour shares a lot of these Warren Beatty characteristics.
How many times does a lover cross a star before he travels the universe? At least as many times that Tinseltown playboy Warren Beatty has shared the bed with his multitudes of famous women. And that doesn’t include the ones who have bragged about being one of “Warren’s Girls.”
The name might not be so recognizable these days to the younger generations (which makes me feel beyond my years saying that), but he was a star on the big screen, acting in and producing such memorable films as Bonnie and Clyde, Heaven Can Wait, Reds, Dick Tracy, and Bugsy. However, just as famous as he was for acting, Warren Beatty was known for having some of the most lecherous eyes in Hollywood. In fact, he was one of the most notoriously single bachelors in his time, and garnered quite the reputation as a proud lady killer. Any Player capable of publicly stating, "My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two 20s," is well-deserving of his Player status.
However, the best part about Warren Beatty was that he was one of the most likable characters in Hollywood, and his exes thought the same thing. He bedded more women over the span of his entire 40-year film career than he made movies, and this man has a pretty hefty list of film and acting awards under his belt. Before he married his current lady Annette Benning in 1992, Warren Beatty was a true dichotomist, a talented jack-of-all-trades entertainer in Hollywood, but he was also a true seduction artist with a fine-tuned game that left many notable women in awe of his romantic touch. Always one to take a cue from a man of his status, here are some tips from Warren Beatty’s game that made him a hit with the ladies and a true world-renowned Player.
Women know when passion exists; they have a sixth sense for it, and you’ll know when you’ve made that ever-important connection -- you can feel passion for your partner. If we take a look at how Warren Beatty accomplished this many times over, we realize it’s not really what he said about it, but rather his girlfriends who held him on a pedestal for his intense, emotionally charged romantic escapades. Goldie Hawn boasted about his passion for her as more than just a sexual feeling: “It was about the tenderness,” she proclaimed after experiencing Warren Beatty’s style. Elizabeth Taylor went one step further: “Out of 10, I’d give him a 15.” I’d say that’s pretty good endorsement and a testament to the passion that Warren Beatty embodied. When your exes are still giving you rave reviews, you must be doing something right, and Warren Beatty was a master at it.
More on iconic Player Warren Beatty...
Warren Beatty was excellent at keeping his composure when he was rejected or when he ended a relationship; he never let his emotions get the best of him. For instance, his old flame Carly Simon seemed so disenchanted with Warren Beatty and his flick-of-the-switch “love ‘em and leave ‘em approach” that her hit single “You’re So Vain” was rumored to be about her disdain for Warren Beatty moving onto his next girlfriend, Natalie Wood. Warren’s response? “Thanks for the song,” and he then proceeded to charm the pants off Natalie Wood. No one really knows if the song was an allusion to the bed-hopping Beatty but, rest assured, Warren Beatty didn’t even flinch when it ended, a textbook example of moving on from an ex and also a great Player quality.
Here is a man who prided his relationships on being in control. That’s not say he was controlling by any means, but rather he was the one who dictated his own destiny when it came to women. Warren Beatty was not a pushover; he wooed the woman with his good looks, natural charm and self-imposed rule of not getting too tied down by any one person (that, of course, ended with his eventually marriage to Annette Benning). He also found time to pursue other hobbies outside of being a Player; Warren Beattty was one of the hardest-working guys in the film industry, devoting much of his time to his acting and producing career, traveling and taking time off at will. He also worked tirelessly as a Democratic Party activist, including flirting with the idea of running as a Democrat for the 2000 election (which he ended up not pursuing). Regardless of what took up his time, Warren Beatty kept an interest in relationships, but never at the cost of his hobbies. Likewise, good Players never put all their eggs in one basket; they are able to manage their time, resources and efforts in a healthy balance of work, home and lifestyle.
Some final lessons from Warren Beatty...
The same principle can apply to your game as well, especially since the same problems and challenges that existed for Players back in Warren’s day still exist for the modern man. Warren Beatty would lock his sights on a woman and use all of his inner resources to captivate her time and time again. His relationship with Julie Christie, for example, was so important to him that he even publicly called her his "wife," albeit they never tied the knot. Still, he remained subtle about his relationships and let his critics and fans draw their own conclusions. This is the calling of a true Player -- you don’t draw attention to yourself, but you do make yourself honestly candid with her in an intimate setting; confidence in your game will bridge that gap. Our boy Warren Beatty followed this to a tee, and his status as a sex symbol was cemented as a result of his discreet but sincere nature.
Like a skilled ventriloquist, Warren Beatty managed to dangle his relationships in one hand and his acting career in other, and all over the course of a brilliant 40-year career in Hollywood, starting at Splendor in the Grass (1961) all the way to Bugsy (1991). Women wanted him, men wanted to be him, and all because he exemplified the true colors of a Player -- smart, witty, confident, charming, and above all, unique. These qualities aren’t hard to adopt and maintain; you just have to be prudent about yourself, know what you want and understand the women you choose to pursue. It also doesn’t hurt to have an Academy Award under your belt; but remember Players, one step at a time.
http://m.askmen.com/dating/player_200/228_love_games.html
How many times does a lover cross a star before he travels the universe? At least as many times that Tinseltown playboy Warren Beatty has shared the bed with his multitudes of famous women. And that doesn’t include the ones who have bragged about being one of “Warren’s Girls.”
The name might not be so recognizable these days to the younger generations (which makes me feel beyond my years saying that), but he was a star on the big screen, acting in and producing such memorable films as Bonnie and Clyde, Heaven Can Wait, Reds, Dick Tracy, and Bugsy. However, just as famous as he was for acting, Warren Beatty was known for having some of the most lecherous eyes in Hollywood. In fact, he was one of the most notoriously single bachelors in his time, and garnered quite the reputation as a proud lady killer. Any Player capable of publicly stating, "My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two 20s," is well-deserving of his Player status.
However, the best part about Warren Beatty was that he was one of the most likable characters in Hollywood, and his exes thought the same thing. He bedded more women over the span of his entire 40-year film career than he made movies, and this man has a pretty hefty list of film and acting awards under his belt. Before he married his current lady Annette Benning in 1992, Warren Beatty was a true dichotomist, a talented jack-of-all-trades entertainer in Hollywood, but he was also a true seduction artist with a fine-tuned game that left many notable women in awe of his romantic touch. Always one to take a cue from a man of his status, here are some tips from Warren Beatty’s game that made him a hit with the ladies and a true world-renowned Player.
Be passionate
Passion -- an accomplishment that many guys think they’ve got in the bag, but are actually far from it. A passionate romance is the silver bullet for a great hookup, but is the hardest Player trait to maintain -- it is perpetual, it can’t be forced, it is built with chemistry, spontaneity, and a full understanding of your girl’s mental game, and most guys think they have it when, really, they don’t. Women are emotional creatures; you’ll rarely find a girl who has a stone-cold demeanor and an equally soulless personality to boot. They like emotion; they like passion; they like guys who please them intellectually, romantically and, of course, sexually. Many guys attempt it, only a few succeed at it, and even fewer can maintain it. However, it remains a challenge nonetheless, especially for the Player looking to make the most of his relationships.Women know when passion exists; they have a sixth sense for it, and you’ll know when you’ve made that ever-important connection -- you can feel passion for your partner. If we take a look at how Warren Beatty accomplished this many times over, we realize it’s not really what he said about it, but rather his girlfriends who held him on a pedestal for his intense, emotionally charged romantic escapades. Goldie Hawn boasted about his passion for her as more than just a sexual feeling: “It was about the tenderness,” she proclaimed after experiencing Warren Beatty’s style. Elizabeth Taylor went one step further: “Out of 10, I’d give him a 15.” I’d say that’s pretty good endorsement and a testament to the passion that Warren Beatty embodied. When your exes are still giving you rave reviews, you must be doing something right, and Warren Beatty was a master at it.
More on iconic Player Warren Beatty...
Keep your cool
A good Player is one who never cracks under pressure; he can make the recovery and come across with the same dignity and class he started with before he made his move. Likewise, whether the pickup goes great or not, a Player never turns into an emotional waterfall; girls don’t like a sob story, and men just look stupid gushing about things that make her uncomfortable. Women have an uncanny ability to lose interest in guys who can be broken down easily, so keep the stiff upper lip. Keep your cool when the going gets tough (but remember to be candid when it’s called for, as will be discussed later in the article).Warren Beatty was excellent at keeping his composure when he was rejected or when he ended a relationship; he never let his emotions get the best of him. For instance, his old flame Carly Simon seemed so disenchanted with Warren Beatty and his flick-of-the-switch “love ‘em and leave ‘em approach” that her hit single “You’re So Vain” was rumored to be about her disdain for Warren Beatty moving onto his next girlfriend, Natalie Wood. Warren’s response? “Thanks for the song,” and he then proceeded to charm the pants off Natalie Wood. No one really knows if the song was an allusion to the bed-hopping Beatty but, rest assured, Warren Beatty didn’t even flinch when it ended, a textbook example of moving on from an ex and also a great Player quality.
Players balance their time
Remember the bank note quote? If this were said today by any mainstream figure, it would be sneered and jeered by everyone on the spectrum. Still, even though these words came from the horse’s mouth, it was simply Warren Beattty being Warren Beattty, playing up his status as a “womanizer” when, in reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth.Here is a man who prided his relationships on being in control. That’s not say he was controlling by any means, but rather he was the one who dictated his own destiny when it came to women. Warren Beatty was not a pushover; he wooed the woman with his good looks, natural charm and self-imposed rule of not getting too tied down by any one person (that, of course, ended with his eventually marriage to Annette Benning). He also found time to pursue other hobbies outside of being a Player; Warren Beattty was one of the hardest-working guys in the film industry, devoting much of his time to his acting and producing career, traveling and taking time off at will. He also worked tirelessly as a Democratic Party activist, including flirting with the idea of running as a Democrat for the 2000 election (which he ended up not pursuing). Regardless of what took up his time, Warren Beatty kept an interest in relationships, but never at the cost of his hobbies. Likewise, good Players never put all their eggs in one basket; they are able to manage their time, resources and efforts in a healthy balance of work, home and lifestyle.
Some final lessons from Warren Beatty...
Be subtle
At times, it would seem like Warren Beattty is a walking contradiction -- he never raved about his love life; he took the high ground and kept his mouth shut when it came to personal matters, and it was only when prodded by curious journalists or other inquisitive minds would he mention anything about it -- a shenanigan recluse, of sorts. Still, when he did talk, he talked candidly and with a tone of confidence that portrayed him as accepting of his dubious relationships with women -- or, in his own words, “It was what it was." Warren Beatty wasn’t a "closet" Player by any means; he walked tall, and men and women alike took notice.The same principle can apply to your game as well, especially since the same problems and challenges that existed for Players back in Warren’s day still exist for the modern man. Warren Beatty would lock his sights on a woman and use all of his inner resources to captivate her time and time again. His relationship with Julie Christie, for example, was so important to him that he even publicly called her his "wife," albeit they never tied the knot. Still, he remained subtle about his relationships and let his critics and fans draw their own conclusions. This is the calling of a true Player -- you don’t draw attention to yourself, but you do make yourself honestly candid with her in an intimate setting; confidence in your game will bridge that gap. Our boy Warren Beatty followed this to a tee, and his status as a sex symbol was cemented as a result of his discreet but sincere nature.
beatty summed up
It's ironic how a man whose unofficial status of "Hollywood Playboy" managed to fall in love and tie the knot before his aptly named Love Affair (despite the fact the film was loosely based on his relationship with Annette Benning), but life throws its quirks in the weirdest places. Warren Beatty managed to hold out until the ripe age of 54 before deciding to settle down, and it was without regret and with a legendary status that he did so, almost like riding off into the sunset for the closing shot of a great Western movie.Like a skilled ventriloquist, Warren Beatty managed to dangle his relationships in one hand and his acting career in other, and all over the course of a brilliant 40-year career in Hollywood, starting at Splendor in the Grass (1961) all the way to Bugsy (1991). Women wanted him, men wanted to be him, and all because he exemplified the true colors of a Player -- smart, witty, confident, charming, and above all, unique. These qualities aren’t hard to adopt and maintain; you just have to be prudent about yourself, know what you want and understand the women you choose to pursue. It also doesn’t hurt to have an Academy Award under your belt; but remember Players, one step at a time.
http://m.askmen.com/dating/player_200/228_love_games.html
Monday, November 19, 2012
Regret
I don't regret loving you. Like I wrote in my previous email, meeting you changed me for the better.
It's definitely a hurdle getting over you for you're quite difficult to forget. I truly hope that you find real love again for the euphoria of it is matched by nothing else.
It's definitely a hurdle getting over you for you're quite difficult to forget. I truly hope that you find real love again for the euphoria of it is matched by nothing else.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Compassion
i've never had to pursue a guy before but that's probably because i was
asexual and indifferent towards men for a pretty long time until i discovered my
sexuality.
i also dated a guy for a really long time, so that's why my game is
off-kilter and have not acted appropriately in so many situations.
all i know from studying and accomplishing other pursuits is that effort
and perserverance pays off. but feelings, sadly, don't work that way. you
tried to warn me about that ... haha
i realize that you'll probably never again see me in a desirous way
and avoiding burning any bridges, you're waiting for me to relent.
thanks if that is what you're doing cause that's awfully nice. i don't
know why i'm not completely over you yet.
two months already since i last saw you. it's quite pathetic and i'm
internally screaming at myself to move on.
but my brain, my heart, my gut, and my vag are constantly at odds with each
other.
i don't want anything with you, and yet i do.
you're too bohemian and risk-taking and indifferent, and yet you're
adventurous and charismatic and liberal.
you're not going to stick around, but you make me feel like nothing else
matters.
you're never around, but you still have a presence.
i try to erase you from my mind and create new memories at places that
we've been to but i can't escape from the images.
you're self-interested and compassionate at the same time.
i want to give up on you and then continue to pursue you. with you it's a
never ending chase.
Friends
since we're no longer fb or fwb or lovers or any other synonym for those, i just
wanted to make sure that we're on the same page.
i really don't want a pretense of friendship if you're just trying to be nice and not burn any bridges. the last thing i want is for you to put on an act since that doesn't last. no one can keep on a farce of friendship indefinitely.
i'm embracing this friendship and trying to dissolve any romantic feelings that i have for you. but tbh, i don't know if my subconscious is embracing this friendship because 1) i still harbor feelings for you and 2) maybe i still secretly hope that you'll develop feelings for me.
maybe once i fall out of love with you i'll no longer desire to be friends with you.
i really don't want a pretense of friendship if you're just trying to be nice and not burn any bridges. the last thing i want is for you to put on an act since that doesn't last. no one can keep on a farce of friendship indefinitely.
i'm embracing this friendship and trying to dissolve any romantic feelings that i have for you. but tbh, i don't know if my subconscious is embracing this friendship because 1) i still harbor feelings for you and 2) maybe i still secretly hope that you'll develop feelings for me.
maybe once i fall out of love with you i'll no longer desire to be friends with you.
From another website - my heart, my gut, my brain, and my vag
My Brain, My Gut, My Heart and My Vag
October 27, 2010
As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, there has been some turbulence
in my relationship with Tom. We had an awful fight, broke up, then missed each
other and got back together.Right after we split, I really didn’t think I’d want to see him again. But then I did. I was confused and didn’t know what to do.
There was a little voice inside of me. And then another. And another. And another. The only one that made sense was the one insisting that I eat more French fries.
These voices came from four highly opinionated body parts: my brain, my gut, my heart and my vag.
These crazy bitches bark orders and advice at me incessantly, often at the same time. They are all saying something different, and sometimes I’m not sure who’s saying what. It can be quite maddening.
“Go out with Fred again, he’s hot and funny!” Wait… is that my brain talking… or my vag? I really want to go out with him again, so maybe it’s my gut. My heart jumps whenever he calls… so maybe it’s my heart talking. Shit, I don’t know.
Let me introduce you to the players:
My Brain
In a nutshell, my brain is a workaholic. She overthinks,
overanalyzes, and considers then reconsiders every possible angle of every
situation.I’m a cerebral chick, I know that. I always want to make the right decision but never know what it is, so I think and think and think until my eyeballs bleed. And then if I ever do make a decision, I’m never sure if it’s the best one, so I think and rethink some more.
I implore you, lobotomize her immediately and put her out of her misery.
My Heart
Ah, my heart. She is… damaged. The wear and tear on this item
should qualify me for a newer model, but sadly, we’re only allotted one per
lifetime.Sometimes she’s afraid to speak up, largely because my brain often tells her what an idiot she’s been in the past. Nevertheless, when she does speak, she speaks volumes.
Folks often say, “Follow your heart.” And despite all the risks this might involve, somehow, I still want to believe it. And it’s why I gave Tom a second chance.
My Vag
This little bitch always gets me into trouble. When she
gets lonely, there’s no telling what she’ll do. I think it’s fairly common
knowledge that the best decisions are not made by your hoo-ha — but she’s
crafty.She talks to the other organs while I’m not looking to try and sway them over to her side. She’s very charismatic and persuasive — much like Jim Jones, or Dakota Fanning.
She’s also a master ventriloquist. She’ll say something and I’ll swear it’s my brain talking. Gotta keep an eye on this one. When she doesn’t behave I’ll sometimes threaten another Brazilian, but she remains undeterred.
My Gut
When people tell me, “Trust your gut, it’s never wrong,” I want to
kick them in the nards. It sounds like sound advice on the surface, but not when
your gut has multiple personality disorder.One day, my gut says, “Leave Tom! You don’t have anything in common and it’s just wrong!” The next day, she says, “Don’t dismiss it so fast! You have a great connection and he’s an amazing guy!”
Very rarely do I experience an overwhelming “gut instinct.” Sometimes I think I do — but it changes by the hour. How can I trust my gut when she’s so damn wishy washy?
***
I have always envied people who can make a decision on the spot and never
look back. Perhaps their brain, heart, gut and vag all get along and make a team
decision. Or maybe one of them is the captain and always calls the shots.But mine just can’t seem to get their shit together. I’ve got the Bad News Bears playing inside of me and we lose every time.
The Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion and Dorothy searched all of Oz for these four items. (In the original version, Dorothy asked the Wizard for a vag. That’s why she’s so popular with the gays.)
I want to tell them that these organs really aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. In fact, they can have mine — I’ve had enough.
From now on, I’m leaving all my decisions up to my buttocks.
***
What do you listen to most when making relationship decisions? How is that
working out for you?I Love you and you deserve more
Thanks for the easy letdown :)
Certainly I think many of us are capable of being polyamorous if given the
opportunity and without any consequences.
Looking for the next best thing is very enticing especially if you have the
ability to continue sowing your wild oats which you do. :P A 23 & 27 year
old girl, and I'm sure a bevy of other women, have already fallen in love with
you. Clearly age is not an issue and you shouldn't feel like it is :P
You may never want to settle down and you might always have the urge to
cheat, but that doesn't mean you're not deserving of a real relationship, one
where your emotional and physical needs are met. Perhaps you'll find someone
out there who's perfectly okay with an open relationship and is willing to
explore a non-traditional relationship.
I don't know exactly what it is that you're seeking but I sense that
you're a romantic and I hope you'll find a sustaining love, one that goes beyond
your usual routine - hikes, flights, and camping trips. We all want the
Hollywood romance, but having been so crazy in love with you, I don't think
it's something that could last forever. I can't concentrate or amount to much
when I'm high on "crack cocaine" love.
You're the ultimate risk-taker so I guess you'll either win big or lose
big. You'll end up a winner, I'm sure :)
I'd still like to be friends, of course, but I recognize that I do want
more. This casual relationship is hindering me from moving forward in other
areas of my life. Maybe the timing will be right for us again in the future,
but right now, I can't risk my future on a short-term fling.
Thank you for exposing me to so many new things and sensations. I've
become much more confident, spontaneous, determined, ambitious, motivated,
emotional, and cheerful after meeting you. Being with you has been some of the
best moments in my life and I am so glad I have you in my life. Despite the ups
and downs in my emotion, you've been a positive influence in my life. And for
that, you'll always hold a special place in my heart.
I don't know what the future holds, but right now I can't continue seeing
you. I love you.
Why Don't You love Me? From another blog
Why Doesn’t He Love Me?
Right now I’m listening to “Why
Don’t You Love Me?” by Beyonce. Here’s a little taste of the
lyrics:
http://blip.fm/listen/Beyonce:
Why don't you love me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you love me
When I make me so damn easy to love?
Why don't you need me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you need me
When I make me so damn easy to need?
There's nothing not to love about me
No, no, there's nothing not to love about me
I'm lovely
There's nothing not to need about me
No, no, there's nothing not to need about me
Why don't you love me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you love me
When I make me so damn easy to love?
Why don't you need me?
Tell me, baby, why don't you need me
When I make me so damn easy to need?
There's nothing not to love about me
No, no, there's nothing not to love about me
I'm lovely
There's nothing not to need about me
No, no, there's nothing not to need about me
If I had a dollar for every time
I’ve heard a woman say that, or thought or said those words myself. Just like
you, I’m a great catch. I’m educated, have a great career, have an awesome
personality, and have many wonderful qualities to offer a man. So why can’t I
get a man to see how awesome I am? Why won’t a man just fall madly in love with
me and not be able to live without me and marry me and work every day to make me
happy?
Dear Lord in Heaven please help
me to get over myself.
Yes, you are wonderful. You’re
an amazing woman that a guy would be crazy to give up, but guess what… a guy may
be madly in love with you, but he’ll still give you up if he doesn’t think
you’re the right woman for him. That’s just how life is. Sometimes you get the
guy you want, but he’s not the guy you need. Sometimes you get the guy you need,
but it’s not the right time, or he’s not the right one a year down the road. We
all grow and change over time. Sometimes in a relationship we grow and change
together, but sometimes we grow apart and realize that we don’t have anything in
common any more.
If I had a dollar for every time
I’ve heard a woman say that, or thought or said those words myself. Just like
you, I’m a great catch. I’m educated, have a great career, have an awesome
personality, and have many wonderful qualities to offer a man. So why can’t I
get a man to see how awesome I am? Why won’t a man just fall madly in love with
me and not be able to live without me and marry me and work every day to make me
happy?
Dear Lord in Heaven please help
me to get over myself.
Yes, you are wonderful. You’re
an amazing woman that a guy would be crazy to give up, but guess what… a guy may
be madly in love with you, but he’ll still give you up if he doesn’t think
you’re the right woman for him. That’s just how life is. Sometimes you get the
guy you want, but he’s not the guy you need. Sometimes you get the guy you need,
but it’s not the right time, or he’s not the right one a year down the road. We
all grow and change over time. Sometimes in a relationship we grow and change
together, but sometimes we grow apart and realize that we don’t have anything in
common any more.
From now on, be your own best friend. If you would give words of comfort and encouragement to your best friends during a breakup or rocky patch, why wouldn’t you give it to yourself? We all have the same script we follow when it comes to consoling our girlfriends; use it on yourself after a breakup. I don’t encourage the man hating though – it doesn’t accomplish anything. He isn’t a jerk for not wanting to be with you anymore. He’s just being honest. Would you rather he lead you on for another year?
Let me rant a minute about the
whole "leading you on" concept...unless he is an accomplished con artist after
you for a large inheritance, there's no such thing. Come on, think about how
many times he's tried to tell you or show you he wants out but you wouldn't give
him an easy out. You knew what he was doing, but you started with the excuses,
begging, denying it, trying to make changes, etc. Your man doesn't want to hurt
your feelings by coming right out and telling you he doesn't want to be with
you, but his actions will speak loud and clear about what his intentions are.
You've been engaged for a year but he won't discuss setting a date? He doesn't
want to kiss you anymore? "Yes, baby, I still want to be with you" but he won't
spend time with you anymore? He doesn't tell you he loves you anymore? In the
words of Bill Engvall...here's your sign.
If your relationship isn’t meant
to be...it doesn’t matter how educated you are, how well you cook, how fit and
trimmed your body is, etc…he isn’t going to stay with you. Stop wasting your
time thinking about how great you’ve been to him and how he just doesn’t see how
wonderful you are. A square peg won’t fit into a round hole no matter how hard
you try to make it fit. Accept the fact that he isn’t the man you’re supposed to
be with, and move on.
There is a man out there who
will love you, need you, and appreciate everything you have to offer without you
having to constantly prove yourself to him. He’ll be in the
relationship willingly without you having to blackmail, manipulate, and remind
him of everything you’ve done for him or how much you’re worth. Go find him and
quit wasting your time on someone who isn’t right for you.
A poem by me:
I’m ugly.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I’m intense.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I never fight back.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I don’t know how to cry.
Why doesn’t he love me?
In fact, I show no emotion at all.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I hate my voice.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I avoid people to avoid judgement.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I want to smash my reflection.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I fuck up every situation.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I can’t take criticism.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I’m not good at anything.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I overanalyze everything.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I don’t respect myself.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I let other people control my life.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I live mostly in my head.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I run away from everyone including myself.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I don’t think I have a heart.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I’m stupid.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I hate myself.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I hate everything about myself.
Why doesn’t he love me?
I don’t love myself.
Why should he?
Miserable when I see you on Facebook
Can't do it. You're too irresistible.
I really like the picture of you with your shirt off :P
How do you have an on-off switch for someone? I can't switch you off. My eyes are glued to you.
I remember you mentioning that you never look back, and that you try not to compare your past with your current paramours.
I really like the picture of you with your shirt off :P
How do you have an on-off switch for someone? I can't switch you off. My eyes are glued to you.
I remember you mentioning that you never look back, and that you try not to compare your past with your current paramours.
Obliterate you from my mind
How many times do I have to write to you until I can obliterate
you from my mind. Perhaps it's ebcause I continue writing to you that you're
constantly on my mind. But no, even when I don't write to you I still wake up
in the middle of the night to thoughts of you.
Do you think you'll ever love me?
How is it that you don't ever seem to think about me or try to seek information about me? I don't understand how you can be so hands-off about everything.
Am I so uninteresting to you? Am I a total bore to you? Is it that I'm not humorous enough for you? What exactly are you looking for? other than a no expectation, no stress relationship.
Are you really continuing this with me just cause of hte sex? I mean, a good looking guy like you, I'm sure can find tongs of women who'd be willing to play with you. So why me? Why torment me?
Do you think you'll ever love me?
How is it that you don't ever seem to think about me or try to seek information about me? I don't understand how you can be so hands-off about everything.
Am I so uninteresting to you? Am I a total bore to you? Is it that I'm not humorous enough for you? What exactly are you looking for? other than a no expectation, no stress relationship.
Are you really continuing this with me just cause of hte sex? I mean, a good looking guy like you, I'm sure can find tongs of women who'd be willing to play with you. So why me? Why torment me?
Going back and forth
I guess this is why I always go back and forth between you and me. I realize
that you really don't have strong feelings for me, but I don't understand it
because I know that I'm loveable. And I'm lucky that I've been showered with
real love and care.
Maybe I have too high an opinion of myself. I think that I'm pretty, intelligent, semi-witty (or at least have a sense of humor), considerate, open-minded, adaptable, adventurous, caring, ambitious, cute, spunky, knowledgeable, financially-savvy, forward-thinking, and genuine. I'm an independent thinker in many ways and though seemingly docile, I'm not a follower and am not susceptible to many influences.
None of this matters since that's not way you see. :(
The feminist in me, along with my logical side, is always telling me to stop this madness. Stop seeing you and stop contacting you. Period. Find a guy who loves loves loves me and vice versa.
But the emotional side of me is always telling me to keep you in my life. Enjoy the moments that we have together and love you. Life is short.
Maybe I have too high an opinion of myself. I think that I'm pretty, intelligent, semi-witty (or at least have a sense of humor), considerate, open-minded, adaptable, adventurous, caring, ambitious, cute, spunky, knowledgeable, financially-savvy, forward-thinking, and genuine. I'm an independent thinker in many ways and though seemingly docile, I'm not a follower and am not susceptible to many influences.
None of this matters since that's not way you see. :(
The feminist in me, along with my logical side, is always telling me to stop this madness. Stop seeing you and stop contacting you. Period. Find a guy who loves loves loves me and vice versa.
But the emotional side of me is always telling me to keep you in my life. Enjoy the moments that we have together and love you. Life is short.
I screwed up
I know I majory screwed up but I stll miss you like crazy. i
wish you had loved me.
i try to use other substance to forget you but instea i just think about you even more - your hugs, your smkile, your gaze, an dyour laugther. i know you told me to go fuck myself, practically, but i'm awful at fucking myself.
anyways, i wanted to say that you're missed. i want to live up to my standards and get away from you btu i just always think about us...ur not replacebale at this moment.
i try to use other substance to forget you but instea i just think about you even more - your hugs, your smkile, your gaze, an dyour laugther. i know you told me to go fuck myself, practically, but i'm awful at fucking myself.
anyways, i wanted to say that you're missed. i want to live up to my standards and get away from you btu i just always think about us...ur not replacebale at this moment.
Great letter about love written by John Steinbeck
Back in 1958, John Steinbeck, author of East of Eden, The Grapes
of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men, got a letter from his teenage son Thom, in which
Thom confessed that he had fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan at
his boarding school.
Steinbeck wrote this wise and wonderful letter back to him the same day...
New York
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:
We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.
First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.
But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Steinbeck wrote this wise and wonderful letter back to him the same day...
New York
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:
We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.
First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.
But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Beautiful Reverie
You're a beautiful reverie, and I wish I didn't have to wake up
to reality.
But reality always catches up and sometimes it's better than my imagination. Right now, not so much.
Up until I met you, my life has been very pristine but slightly boring. Definitely safe.
But reality always catches up and sometimes it's better than my imagination. Right now, not so much.
Up until I met you, my life has been very pristine but slightly boring. Definitely safe.
Response from a question I posted ... hilarious
You have this guy completely wrong. He's obviously a caring and
kind man that likes to share his love among many, he sounds quite saintly. Isn't
that what we all should do, spread happiness among our fellow humans? You keep
in touch, with his penis, and that's what really counts in your world.
It's obvious you like his method of giving and he enjoys your gift of spreading for him. It's apparent that many others do too. It's got to be hard on him to keep it up, and provide joy to his flock of vagina. You should view him as a diplomat of double penetration (and then some). He's a hard working man and you should keep appreciating him for what he is; a guy willing to give every inch of what's in his pants for you because you're worth it.
Another way to look at it is that you're truly The special one to him. You shouldn't be shocked at all, he keeps you in his stable because you're just that special and unique. He's committed to you most of all. I can tell by your story that he truly cares about you and wants to give you all that you desire in his scrotum. Nothing says consideration and caring like occasionally dumping a load in a willing receptacle at last call. Embrace your so very important position as a willing receptacle and accept him for who and what he is. This is the way and true path to hooker nirvana.
It's obvious you like his method of giving and he enjoys your gift of spreading for him. It's apparent that many others do too. It's got to be hard on him to keep it up, and provide joy to his flock of vagina. You should view him as a diplomat of double penetration (and then some). He's a hard working man and you should keep appreciating him for what he is; a guy willing to give every inch of what's in his pants for you because you're worth it.
Another way to look at it is that you're truly The special one to him. You shouldn't be shocked at all, he keeps you in his stable because you're just that special and unique. He's committed to you most of all. I can tell by your story that he truly cares about you and wants to give you all that you desire in his scrotum. Nothing says consideration and caring like occasionally dumping a load in a willing receptacle at last call. Embrace your so very important position as a willing receptacle and accept him for who and what he is. This is the way and true path to hooker nirvana.
Level the playing field
The caring, the effort, the time spent, the driving, etc is done
mostly by me. I know this- "us"- always started out more one-sided but it feels
far more lopsided these days. Perhaps I've pushed you away with my
insecurities, etc ... or the relationship has just peaked after the six month
mark. Whatever it is, I just know that I'm more invested ... I'm fine with the
casual thing but I still have an issue with the lopsidedness. My liking you
more is making me crave you more and repelling you.
I'm still trying to level the playing field, but it is hard. I don't want to like you more but I can't help it. Something that I read recently summarizes what I feel for you and I've included it below:
*Things are different now.* No other eyes are as captivating. No other
smile is as contagious.
No one else’s words are as reassuring. No other arms are as comforting. I
don’t long to hear any other voice on the other side of the phone. I don’t
get butterflies at the thought of anyone else. *Things are different now.*When another walks by, I no longer give a second look. It’s like no one
else exists; no one but you. They say that “love is blind;” and if
anything, I’m only blind to everyone else. No one can measure up to you.
They always fall short. *Things are different now.* Seeing through the eyes
of love is like seeing under a microscope. I see things in you that I could
never see in others, with my old eyes naked of love. Each little quirk,
story, and moment with you are like the cells that make you who you are to
me. The more I know you, discover things about you, the deeper I fall,
captivated by the simplistic nature of who you are. It’s as though I’ve
discovered something for the very first time, and now that I know of its
existence I can’t imagine a world without. *Things are different now.* As I
learn about you, I am also learning about myself. I’ve never felt like I
quite belonged in this world until now. Until I had someone to walk beside
me, encourage me, dream with me. *Things are different now.* I smile at the
thought of you. I cry at the thought of being away from you. I fear, always
have and always will, but with you it’s a different fear. It isn’t so much
a fear of you causing harm, but a fear of losing you to the unknown. *Things
are different now.* I let my guard down. Give you a straight shot to my
heart and all that I am. I trust you. Something that is not easy for me to
do. Things are different now. I love this difference: the joy, the
anxiousness, and the longing. I hate this difference: the unknown, the
risks, and the doubt. *Things are different now.* Please, be careful. I
never thought this would happen. I had given up hope. But here you are…my
hope in love, in true happiness, in the future. *Things are different now.*Thank you.
I know all this is super sappy and not what you want. This isn't what I want either. I honestly just want to like you less and pursue this like a fwb relationship. And I feel like you're trying to help me achieve that - by making less of an effort. And it's what I want too, but in the interim, I'm unhappy and it sucks being the one to care more for another person, particularly when the affections aren't reciprocated.
I'm still trying to level the playing field, but it is hard. I don't want to like you more but I can't help it. Something that I read recently summarizes what I feel for you and I've included it below:
*Things are different now.* No other eyes are as captivating. No other
smile is as contagious.
No one else’s words are as reassuring. No other arms are as comforting. I
don’t long to hear any other voice on the other side of the phone. I don’t
get butterflies at the thought of anyone else. *Things are different now.*When another walks by, I no longer give a second look. It’s like no one
else exists; no one but you. They say that “love is blind;” and if
anything, I’m only blind to everyone else. No one can measure up to you.
They always fall short. *Things are different now.* Seeing through the eyes
of love is like seeing under a microscope. I see things in you that I could
never see in others, with my old eyes naked of love. Each little quirk,
story, and moment with you are like the cells that make you who you are to
me. The more I know you, discover things about you, the deeper I fall,
captivated by the simplistic nature of who you are. It’s as though I’ve
discovered something for the very first time, and now that I know of its
existence I can’t imagine a world without. *Things are different now.* As I
learn about you, I am also learning about myself. I’ve never felt like I
quite belonged in this world until now. Until I had someone to walk beside
me, encourage me, dream with me. *Things are different now.* I smile at the
thought of you. I cry at the thought of being away from you. I fear, always
have and always will, but with you it’s a different fear. It isn’t so much
a fear of you causing harm, but a fear of losing you to the unknown. *Things
are different now.* I let my guard down. Give you a straight shot to my
heart and all that I am. I trust you. Something that is not easy for me to
do. Things are different now. I love this difference: the joy, the
anxiousness, and the longing. I hate this difference: the unknown, the
risks, and the doubt. *Things are different now.* Please, be careful. I
never thought this would happen. I had given up hope. But here you are…my
hope in love, in true happiness, in the future. *Things are different now.*Thank you.
I know all this is super sappy and not what you want. This isn't what I want either. I honestly just want to like you less and pursue this like a fwb relationship. And I feel like you're trying to help me achieve that - by making less of an effort. And it's what I want too, but in the interim, I'm unhappy and it sucks being the one to care more for another person, particularly when the affections aren't reciprocated.
From Le Love. Make myself vulnerable
I underestimated the intensity I would feel, and the desire. I
forgot what it was like to be pursued (it's wonderful). The insecurities that I
bear shouldn't have surprised me, but they do and at times I feel weak in my
neediness. Hopefully, my insecurities are not projected onto my guy - he does
not need to bear the burden from my previous relationship woes. The sheer
logistics of a more established life make getting
together more complicated.
At the beginning, I held back a little. Okay, I held back a lot and I still find myself fighting that impulse. The good thing is that now I recognize it and usually choose to do the opposite: I call him. Reach out to him. Share something. Make myself vulnerable.
Complicated. Vulnerable. Incredible. Hopeful. Inspiring.
Yet finding companionship and passion with another human has reminded me how much I crave it. I have a great capacity for love, to give and to share, to support, laugh, play and dream with another person. I have found that in my guy which delights me to no end, makes me feel giddy like a young girl.
The man I have discovered is different from what I thought I might find in this season of life. He is all the standard things any woman would want: responsible, moral, kind, charming. He meets every item I needed on my "list." You have a list, right? I think it's important to have a short list of bottom-line necessities that you know you need in a partner. There are many things I want and so many more that I didn't even know ask for. My man is not perfect, yet the imperfections allow me to be flawed, too.
And we all are so flawed.
Now I find myself balanced precariously in this place of hope and basking, to doubting he could feel the same. I am cautious to keep my emotions based on me and not give that power to another person as I did in the past when I let my ex determine how I felt. But to care what someone feels and thinks does give that person a measure of power, and it feels so risky. I'm taking the risk, but I wish I knew how the story ended!
It would have been easier to wrap my heart in a protective shell and never risk getting hurt again. Now I know I wouldn't miss this moment for anything. Whether for now or for always, I'm thankful for the chance to connect with someone in so many ways.
At the beginning, I held back a little. Okay, I held back a lot and I still find myself fighting that impulse. The good thing is that now I recognize it and usually choose to do the opposite: I call him. Reach out to him. Share something. Make myself vulnerable.
Complicated. Vulnerable. Incredible. Hopeful. Inspiring.
Yet finding companionship and passion with another human has reminded me how much I crave it. I have a great capacity for love, to give and to share, to support, laugh, play and dream with another person. I have found that in my guy which delights me to no end, makes me feel giddy like a young girl.
The man I have discovered is different from what I thought I might find in this season of life. He is all the standard things any woman would want: responsible, moral, kind, charming. He meets every item I needed on my "list." You have a list, right? I think it's important to have a short list of bottom-line necessities that you know you need in a partner. There are many things I want and so many more that I didn't even know ask for. My man is not perfect, yet the imperfections allow me to be flawed, too.
And we all are so flawed.
Now I find myself balanced precariously in this place of hope and basking, to doubting he could feel the same. I am cautious to keep my emotions based on me and not give that power to another person as I did in the past when I let my ex determine how I felt. But to care what someone feels and thinks does give that person a measure of power, and it feels so risky. I'm taking the risk, but I wish I knew how the story ended!
It would have been easier to wrap my heart in a protective shell and never risk getting hurt again. Now I know I wouldn't miss this moment for anything. Whether for now or for always, I'm thankful for the chance to connect with someone in so many ways.
From le Love
http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/2012/05/i-am-still-intoxicated-by-you.html
I am writing this to you in case I get over it. I don't trust
myself to hold on properly through all my insecurity.
I don't know if I have been in love before. It was never mutual whatever it was, it hurt me badly and I was only fifteen. A few years on and I'm almost certain I am falling in love with you. It's ridiculous, I don't know you much at all, I don't know what it feels like to hold you or kiss you, but I want to. More than anything else in the world. I go to sleep thinking about you, I wake up thinking about you. I have to stop myself filling all the spaces in between with thoughts of you too, because it cripples me that you probably don't feel anything even nearly the same for me.
Even though this is one of the most confidence shattering experiences of my life so far, I am so glad I met you. It doesn't matter that I can't believe what you tell me, it doesn't matter that I ruin it all by getting jealous of the other prettier, less complicated girls in your life, you have still made me the happiest I can ever remember being, even if it was only for a few hours at a time. You amaze me, truly. You are so clever, strong and insightful, regardless of how you feel about yourself. I know you're insecure, but I think you are beautiful. You are everything you should be, I wish you could believe me, like you want me to believe you.
I know I am clinging. Clinging to something other people, even you, would probably perceive as nothing. I know its because I am so desperate for someone to fix me, to want to fix me. I have probably built this all up so far I can barely see what's actually happening anymore. Maybe I'm simply infatuated by the idea of you; what you could mean to me. Regardless, this is still how I feel, I am still intoxicated by you.
I don't know if I have been in love before. It was never mutual whatever it was, it hurt me badly and I was only fifteen. A few years on and I'm almost certain I am falling in love with you. It's ridiculous, I don't know you much at all, I don't know what it feels like to hold you or kiss you, but I want to. More than anything else in the world. I go to sleep thinking about you, I wake up thinking about you. I have to stop myself filling all the spaces in between with thoughts of you too, because it cripples me that you probably don't feel anything even nearly the same for me.
Even though this is one of the most confidence shattering experiences of my life so far, I am so glad I met you. It doesn't matter that I can't believe what you tell me, it doesn't matter that I ruin it all by getting jealous of the other prettier, less complicated girls in your life, you have still made me the happiest I can ever remember being, even if it was only for a few hours at a time. You amaze me, truly. You are so clever, strong and insightful, regardless of how you feel about yourself. I know you're insecure, but I think you are beautiful. You are everything you should be, I wish you could believe me, like you want me to believe you.
I know I am clinging. Clinging to something other people, even you, would probably perceive as nothing. I know its because I am so desperate for someone to fix me, to want to fix me. I have probably built this all up so far I can barely see what's actually happening anymore. Maybe I'm simply infatuated by the idea of you; what you could mean to me. Regardless, this is still how I feel, I am still intoxicated by you.
From before ... Taking a break
The guy I had dated for about half a year suggested us taking a
break
from our sexual activity. Why would a guy decide not to have sexual
activity with someone he's seeing and still want to remain friends?
I still want him in the interim even though I had always been unsure
about him as a long-term potential. I am in love with him.
Subsequent to our break, I reached out to him several times where he
responded sparingly. I told him that I would like to continue seeing
him, even if it meant having a casual relationship. We weren't that
serious to begin with anyways. Recently, not too long after our
break, he texted that he definitely still wanted to see me, but felt
like we needed a "cool down" and would reach out to me later.
What does that even mean?
Do guys usually end casual relationships when the other person
involved gets too emotionally attached?
This is the long version:
I started dating a guy over six months ago, and several months into
it, we both agreed that even though I've never really casually dated
before. Throughout the six months, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be
with him and expressed many anxious thoughts to him (i.e. not sure
where this is heading, not sure if we're compatible since he's so
different from any guy I've ever dated, unhappy about his
communication style, and so forth).
I like daily communication (either via texting, phone, email, skype,
etc). He communicates with people only when necessary and will only
reach out like once a week. He also hates talking on the phone but,
in the beginning, he made a real effort and talked to me a handful of
times. The texts were more frequent as well until it started
dwindling (from pretty much daily to one every three-four days to no
answers). He exhibited all the signs of a man in love, and I truly
believe he felt something strong for me.
I acknowledge that I probably drove him away by my uncertainty about
him and stupid comparisons between him and my past boyfriend. But I
couldn't help it. He's much older than me (10+ years) , with a lot
more life and love experience, with an unstable income, and a much
more liberal attitude when it comes to dating.
I could envision him as a great father and possibly a great husband,
but his current financial situation precludes those options. Yet ...
I couldn't end things with him even though I didn't see him in my
future. It was just so hard to contain my feelings, especially since
our physical chemistry was out-of-this-world. And typically I'm not a
person driven by my hormones, but in this case, he had many other
redeeming qualities that made me go back to him.
I had wanted to end things with him several times. When we finally
decided to take a break, he basically was the one who suggested a cool
down, a break from our sexual activity. He said he was tired of not
meeting my expectations and hurting my feelings (since I am accustomed
to daily communication). He also said that he was looking for a
destressing relationship, one without any expectations since he had
other areas in his life that were stressful and still needed to be
accomplished.
My initial reaction was both sadness and relief - sadness because I
love him and there's a little part of me that wants to work it out
with him. Relief because I no longer had to torment myself about
whether or not I should continue seeing him.
Ultimately, despite all my practical reasons of "why the break was
good for me," I still want him back. I was devastated and though I
have resumed my normal life and started dating again, he is constantly
on my mind.
After we discussed taking a break, I reached out to him and basically
told him I was willing to work it out, even if it meant pursuing a
even more casual relationship. I told him I'd be willing to adjust my
expectations and work with him. He didn't respond.
The other day he finally responded and said he definitely would still
like to see me, but he just felt that we needed a "cool down" and that
he would reach out to me. I asked him what that meant, but he didn't
give me an explanation.
So I reached out to him over the weekend asking him if he wanted to
meet up, but he didn't respond. Now I am officially confused.
Why is he saying that he still wants to see me, but not responding at
all or reaching out to me? Why would he decide to take a break in the
first place when we were just seeing each other casually?
I admit that perhaps he was afraid that I was too attached and getting
to the point of wanting more, but I wasn't. Do guys usually end
casual relationships when the other person involved gets too
emotionally attached?
from our sexual activity. Why would a guy decide not to have sexual
activity with someone he's seeing and still want to remain friends?
I still want him in the interim even though I had always been unsure
about him as a long-term potential. I am in love with him.
Subsequent to our break, I reached out to him several times where he
responded sparingly. I told him that I would like to continue seeing
him, even if it meant having a casual relationship. We weren't that
serious to begin with anyways. Recently, not too long after our
break, he texted that he definitely still wanted to see me, but felt
like we needed a "cool down" and would reach out to me later.
What does that even mean?
Do guys usually end casual relationships when the other person
involved gets too emotionally attached?
This is the long version:
I started dating a guy over six months ago, and several months into
it, we both agreed that even though I've never really casually dated
before. Throughout the six months, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be
with him and expressed many anxious thoughts to him (i.e. not sure
where this is heading, not sure if we're compatible since he's so
different from any guy I've ever dated, unhappy about his
communication style, and so forth).
I like daily communication (either via texting, phone, email, skype,
etc). He communicates with people only when necessary and will only
reach out like once a week. He also hates talking on the phone but,
in the beginning, he made a real effort and talked to me a handful of
times. The texts were more frequent as well until it started
dwindling (from pretty much daily to one every three-four days to no
answers). He exhibited all the signs of a man in love, and I truly
believe he felt something strong for me.
I acknowledge that I probably drove him away by my uncertainty about
him and stupid comparisons between him and my past boyfriend. But I
couldn't help it. He's much older than me (10+ years) , with a lot
more life and love experience, with an unstable income, and a much
more liberal attitude when it comes to dating.
I could envision him as a great father and possibly a great husband,
but his current financial situation precludes those options. Yet ...
I couldn't end things with him even though I didn't see him in my
future. It was just so hard to contain my feelings, especially since
our physical chemistry was out-of-this-world. And typically I'm not a
person driven by my hormones, but in this case, he had many other
redeeming qualities that made me go back to him.
I had wanted to end things with him several times. When we finally
decided to take a break, he basically was the one who suggested a cool
down, a break from our sexual activity. He said he was tired of not
meeting my expectations and hurting my feelings (since I am accustomed
to daily communication). He also said that he was looking for a
destressing relationship, one without any expectations since he had
other areas in his life that were stressful and still needed to be
accomplished.
My initial reaction was both sadness and relief - sadness because I
love him and there's a little part of me that wants to work it out
with him. Relief because I no longer had to torment myself about
whether or not I should continue seeing him.
Ultimately, despite all my practical reasons of "why the break was
good for me," I still want him back. I was devastated and though I
have resumed my normal life and started dating again, he is constantly
on my mind.
After we discussed taking a break, I reached out to him and basically
told him I was willing to work it out, even if it meant pursuing a
even more casual relationship. I told him I'd be willing to adjust my
expectations and work with him. He didn't respond.
The other day he finally responded and said he definitely would still
like to see me, but he just felt that we needed a "cool down" and that
he would reach out to me. I asked him what that meant, but he didn't
give me an explanation.
So I reached out to him over the weekend asking him if he wanted to
meet up, but he didn't respond. Now I am officially confused.
Why is he saying that he still wants to see me, but not responding at
all or reaching out to me? Why would he decide to take a break in the
first place when we were just seeing each other casually?
I admit that perhaps he was afraid that I was too attached and getting
to the point of wanting more, but I wasn't. Do guys usually end
casual relationships when the other person involved gets too
emotionally attached?
From before... Chasing Pavements
I realize that expressing my feelings for you probably just gives
you more guilt and stress since the feelings aren't reciprocate, but it's really
hard to contain what I feel for you.
What should I do? Do I continue chasing pavements? I'm trying to use this distance and time apart to lessen my feelings for you since it's better for the two of us this way, but it's so hard. I go out on dates with other men, but no one measures up. I don't even desire them or find even the most handsome guy attractive anymore.
I want you. And I want you to want me back with the fervor and intensity that I possess for you. I ache for reciprocity in our feelings and actions.
What should I do? Do I continue chasing pavements? I'm trying to use this distance and time apart to lessen my feelings for you since it's better for the two of us this way, but it's so hard. I go out on dates with other men, but no one measures up. I don't even desire them or find even the most handsome guy attractive anymore.
I want you. And I want you to want me back with the fervor and intensity that I possess for you. I ache for reciprocity in our feelings and actions.
Read this everyday as a reminder of what to do
This is from another blog:
In all honesty, the only way that these situations end is when YOU end ‘it’.
You don’t need to say anything because to be honest, I think some of these men
would be a touch confused if you told them that something was over that they
didn’t think had started.
Stop calling, stop chasing, stop texting, stop seeing a bread loaf when there is barely a crumb.
Stop waiting, stop hoping, stop projecting, stop the madness.
Stop creating drama and then wondering why you are miserable – as it’s all one sided, you are the master orchestrator of your own soap opera.
Commit to being in the real world. Take things at face value so when he doesn’t call, it’s because he doesn’t want to speak with you, not because he’s waiting for you to make a move. When you don’t hear from him for months, it’s not because you did something wrong that you need to figure out – it’s because you are not in a relationship and whilst you are daydreaming the crap out of your life, he is out there living his.
Yes that’s right living and if you spend your energy wanting men that don’t want you and then obsessing about why they don’t want you, your life will be at one mega grandstill.
If you point blank cannot accept that 1) it’s for the most part in your head, 2) if he doesn’t want you then it’s time to start learning to stop wanting him, 3) you’re creating your own drama and pain, then you must at least accept that you are 100% responsible for where you are now and that you don’t get to let yourself off the hook and blame him.
And then go and talk to someone because spending your life and brain time escaping from the real world whilst hurting yourself and not wanting that to change says that it’s time you spoke to someone and got to the heart of your issues.
But if you are at that point where you want to and can do something about this, don’t try to make things anymore complicated than they are because when you let go of something that doesn’t and didn’t exist, you have that power and are in the driving seat of what happens to you. Don’t make out like he has to do something to end this – you have to do something and cold turkey it out so that you can gain some real perspective and get to the heart of why you are engaging in this self-destructive behaviour so that you don’t go back.
Stop calling, stop chasing, stop texting, stop seeing a bread loaf when there is barely a crumb.
Stop waiting, stop hoping, stop projecting, stop the madness.
Stop creating drama and then wondering why you are miserable – as it’s all one sided, you are the master orchestrator of your own soap opera.
Commit to being in the real world. Take things at face value so when he doesn’t call, it’s because he doesn’t want to speak with you, not because he’s waiting for you to make a move. When you don’t hear from him for months, it’s not because you did something wrong that you need to figure out – it’s because you are not in a relationship and whilst you are daydreaming the crap out of your life, he is out there living his.
Yes that’s right living and if you spend your energy wanting men that don’t want you and then obsessing about why they don’t want you, your life will be at one mega grandstill.
If you point blank cannot accept that 1) it’s for the most part in your head, 2) if he doesn’t want you then it’s time to start learning to stop wanting him, 3) you’re creating your own drama and pain, then you must at least accept that you are 100% responsible for where you are now and that you don’t get to let yourself off the hook and blame him.
And then go and talk to someone because spending your life and brain time escaping from the real world whilst hurting yourself and not wanting that to change says that it’s time you spoke to someone and got to the heart of your issues.
But if you are at that point where you want to and can do something about this, don’t try to make things anymore complicated than they are because when you let go of something that doesn’t and didn’t exist, you have that power and are in the driving seat of what happens to you. Don’t make out like he has to do something to end this – you have to do something and cold turkey it out so that you can gain some real perspective and get to the heart of why you are engaging in this self-destructive behaviour so that you don’t go back.
I'm letting you go ... slowly
i think i always got your messages, but i just didn't want to face it before.
i'm a walking contradiction- fragile but strong, and confident and weak, caring
but not a caregiver, smart and stupid, and emotion and logical, along with tons
of other things. i'm starting to sound like a person with multiple
personalities
on one hand, i felt threatened by the other women and yet, i also felt like i had no right to feel jealous since i was also seeing other people. additionally, i think deep down i felt like i was such a great catch that you couldn't pass up. i didn't understand why you would reject me. then i self-reflected and realized that i had major faults.
life doesn't always pan out the way you want it to. i need to focus on myself now.
don't worry, i'm letting you go. i cried a good session the other day and i felt much better the next morning.
on one hand, i felt threatened by the other women and yet, i also felt like i had no right to feel jealous since i was also seeing other people. additionally, i think deep down i felt like i was such a great catch that you couldn't pass up. i didn't understand why you would reject me. then i self-reflected and realized that i had major faults.
life doesn't always pan out the way you want it to. i need to focus on myself now.
don't worry, i'm letting you go. i cried a good session the other day and i felt much better the next morning.
Pathetic
i groveled, it didn't work
i set aside my pride, it pushed you away even more
i tried persuasion, that failed
i tried temptation, it got rejected
i saw you as who you are, so you stopped revealing yourself to me
i contact, you stopped responding
i'm pathetic now and need to re-evaluate my values and my boundaries.
i'm not sure at what point i started throwing away my self-respect but i need to get it back.
i set aside my pride, it pushed you away even more
i tried persuasion, that failed
i tried temptation, it got rejected
i saw you as who you are, so you stopped revealing yourself to me
i contact, you stopped responding
i'm pathetic now and need to re-evaluate my values and my boundaries.
i'm not sure at what point i started throwing away my self-respect but i need to get it back.
Resons for why I shouldn't like him
he doesn't like me
he doesn't like me
he doesn't respond to me a lot of times
he doesn't care about my feelings
he is seeing other women
he is 14 years older
he travels a lot
he is not ready to settle down
he says he's not relationship material
he doesn't bend at all
he's not that tall
he has deep frowning/laughing lines
he's not the most intelligent guy
he's not the most logical person
he seems to like to follow trends (light-blue converses, boots, cowboy
hats,
he likes making videos
he has a script for getting girls (actor, watch my video, take you
paragliding, go sailing, hiking, walk on the beach, venice canals)
he knows how to romance women and deal with different types of people
he's the ultimate charmer
he is very noncommunicative with me and doesn't want to reveal what he
actually thinks
he doesn't care about me
he's not family-oriented
he just started achieving financial success
he's a lothorio
he's never been that serious about anyone
he's has a lot more experience than me
he says he's an independent thinker but he's actually a follower
he follows trends and spout the ideas of other people
he tries to hang on to his youth by dating women who are half his age (i think)
Difference between romantic and creepy
The difference between "romantic" and "creepy" is the other person's reaction to
it. haha
I still miss you
I wish I could capture your attention again and make you trust me. What I did was stupid, but I was emotional and couldn't contain my curiosity. And I ended up losing you. I never realized how much you actually meant to me. I wrote so many things to you previously that I could never send, in fear that you would think of me badly.
So now I'm posting them all up. You still won't see them, but hopefully my words will help someone out there. Please don't make the same mistake that I did - I researched the other women that I thought he might be partial towards and confronted him about it. Now I'm a permanent creep in his eyes. Yes, what I did was creepy but somehow I was able to rationalize my actions. I didn't trust his judgment or that he had my best interest at heart.
So now I'm posting them all up. You still won't see them, but hopefully my words will help someone out there. Please don't make the same mistake that I did - I researched the other women that I thought he might be partial towards and confronted him about it. Now I'm a permanent creep in his eyes. Yes, what I did was creepy but somehow I was able to rationalize my actions. I didn't trust his judgment or that he had my best interest at heart.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Snowball's Chance
Did someone else capture your heart? Was it the voluptuous one with the toned figure?
Is she the one that kept you awake during the warm summer nights?
She's gorgeous, no doubt, and "Adrine" come true. Much like "snow" white. But did you dig deeper and find a "boyadjian" secret?
I can't measure up in terms of looks, but what I lack in that department, I make up for in intellect, compassion, curiosity, and a whole slew of other qualities. Except you don't know that because you never digged deeper.
Your problem is that you don't do your homework - you never tried to learn more about the girls you're seeing. They're all dispensable, and unfortunately, i am one of them.
I admit, I am probably obsessed about you, and I know it's unhealthy. But you create all sorts of emotions within me and all I know is that I love being in your presence. My life is certainly full of color already, but with you in it, I see rainbows all the time. Even double-rainbows!
I'm utterly heartbroken. But the situation is what it is and there really isn't much that I can do anymore. I want to get in touch with you sooooooooooooo badly, but prolonging this "relationship" is only going to hurt me more later on since I know that you're not for the taking.
Why, oh why, do you not reciprocate my love? I wish I were the woman to make you reject your monogamish/polygasmish ways ... there's a "snow"ball's chance that I'll ever get you to love me the way I love you.
But it is what it is.
I need to commemorate our times together and slowly let you go. I just don't know if I'll be able to make it. I want to talk to you, see you, kiss you, hug you, and just be with you. Constantly.
Is she the one that kept you awake during the warm summer nights?
She's gorgeous, no doubt, and "Adrine" come true. Much like "snow" white. But did you dig deeper and find a "boyadjian" secret?
I can't measure up in terms of looks, but what I lack in that department, I make up for in intellect, compassion, curiosity, and a whole slew of other qualities. Except you don't know that because you never digged deeper.
Your problem is that you don't do your homework - you never tried to learn more about the girls you're seeing. They're all dispensable, and unfortunately, i am one of them.
I admit, I am probably obsessed about you, and I know it's unhealthy. But you create all sorts of emotions within me and all I know is that I love being in your presence. My life is certainly full of color already, but with you in it, I see rainbows all the time. Even double-rainbows!
I'm utterly heartbroken. But the situation is what it is and there really isn't much that I can do anymore. I want to get in touch with you sooooooooooooo badly, but prolonging this "relationship" is only going to hurt me more later on since I know that you're not for the taking.
Why, oh why, do you not reciprocate my love? I wish I were the woman to make you reject your monogamish/polygasmish ways ... there's a "snow"ball's chance that I'll ever get you to love me the way I love you.
But it is what it is.
I need to commemorate our times together and slowly let you go. I just don't know if I'll be able to make it. I want to talk to you, see you, kiss you, hug you, and just be with you. Constantly.
Self respect
It's been a week since I last contacted my lover, and I can't stop thinking about him. I wake up in the middle of the night to thoughts of him and I know it's only been a week, so the beginning is always the hardest.
He's already told me that he doesn't want to commit and he's never told me he loves me so I'm pretty sure this is a dead-end relationship. What to do? I've already made up my mind to cut him off but I miss him like crazy. LIKE CRAZY ... WHy, oh why doesn't he love me back? Where did I go wrong? Our sexual chemistry is out of this world and yet ... he still doesn't love me. I think we're compatible in a lot of other ways.
I guess I don't stir emotions in him that shakes up his world. My goal has always been to make a difference in this world, to be a trailblazer in one aspect of life. I had already given up hope that I would be a super successful career woman and instead turned my focus onto fostering a good family life. I can't even move the one person that I've been intimately involved with and that really makes me wonder, do I even have any influential abilities?
How can I be an inspiration to strangers and those beyond my immediate circles if I can't even motivate those closest to me?
He's already told me that he doesn't want to commit and he's never told me he loves me so I'm pretty sure this is a dead-end relationship. What to do? I've already made up my mind to cut him off but I miss him like crazy. LIKE CRAZY ... WHy, oh why doesn't he love me back? Where did I go wrong? Our sexual chemistry is out of this world and yet ... he still doesn't love me. I think we're compatible in a lot of other ways.
I guess I don't stir emotions in him that shakes up his world. My goal has always been to make a difference in this world, to be a trailblazer in one aspect of life. I had already given up hope that I would be a super successful career woman and instead turned my focus onto fostering a good family life. I can't even move the one person that I've been intimately involved with and that really makes me wonder, do I even have any influential abilities?
How can I be an inspiration to strangers and those beyond my immediate circles if I can't even motivate those closest to me?
Lucky me
Lucky that I haven't had to suffer through many breakups. This one is particularly bad, even though I initiated it as well. I've never felt like I'm the only one in a relationship. To care soooooo much for another person who you don't even know if he likes you or not is a terrible unsettling feeling.
I didn't think that my confidence would get shaken. But it has. I need to slowly build it back up.
I didn't think that my confidence would get shaken. But it has. I need to slowly build it back up.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Love is not love
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
I loved this poem growing up and dreamt that one day I would find a love that was fixed, unshaken by any tempest. Alas, I was wrong. I love being in love and I crave for the touch of my lover. This blog is a way for me to get over my pain and to distract myself.
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
I loved this poem growing up and dreamt that one day I would find a love that was fixed, unshaken by any tempest. Alas, I was wrong. I love being in love and I crave for the touch of my lover. This blog is a way for me to get over my pain and to distract myself.
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