Compassion

i've never had to pursue a guy before but that's probably because i was asexual and indifferent towards men for a pretty long time until i discovered my sexuality. 

 

i also dated a guy for a really long time, so that's why my game is off-kilter and have not acted appropriately in so many situations.

 

all i know from studying and accomplishing other pursuits is that effort and perserverance pays off.  but feelings, sadly, don't work that way.  you tried to warn me about that ... haha 

 

i realize that you'll probably never again see me in a desirous way and avoiding burning any bridges, you're waiting for me to relent. 

 

thanks if that is what you're doing cause that's awfully nice.  i don't know why i'm not completely over you yet. 

 

two months already since i last saw you.  it's quite pathetic and i'm internally screaming at myself to move on.

 

but my brain, my heart, my gut, and my vag are constantly at odds with each other. 

 

i don't want anything with you, and yet i do.

 

you're too bohemian and risk-taking and indifferent, and yet you're adventurous and charismatic and liberal.

 

you're not going to stick around, but you make me feel like nothing else matters.

 

you're never around, but you still have a presence.

 

i try to erase you from my mind and create new memories at places that we've been to but i can't escape from the images.

 

you're self-interested and compassionate at the same time.

 

i want to give up on you and then continue to pursue you.  with you it's a never ending chase.